Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm in the mood for Seasons

Um, I don't think California got the memo. Somebody needs to tell California that it's late October and it's probably time to start getting, you know, COLD? Yesterday, the high was 92. Ninety-freakin-two, people. Is it me or does that seem completely wrong to you? Sigh...I think it's time to move, I'm in the mood for seasons.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A little random to go with your coffee

Can you picture my prophesy? I don't know what's worse, the fact that I opened this blog with a 2pac quote or the fact that I actually quote 2pac. Am I even cool enough to quote rappers? On one hand I'm still pretty young, only 25 and I'm sure that at some point, someone must have thought me cool. Admittedly they probably didn't know me very well. On the other hand, I'm a mother of two who drives a station wagon, mini-van, SUV thing. Technically, it's an SUV-station wagon "crossover". But in reality, it's just a nerdy car trying to be cool. In this way we are perfectly matched, unfortunately.

So, here's my question. At what point do us moms give up trying to be cool and just give into our "momness"? I've known a few woman who never stop trying to be cool and I guess the question for them is this; At what point does this become pathetic? My guess would be when you start quoting rappers.

In other non-random news, we're all doing incredibly well. We're all incredibly boring. Which is okay, boring is good. Boring is NOT chaos. Kyle is almost walking. IN fact, he's doing a creepy run on his hands and feet thing. When I first saw him do this I thought, "ooohhh, I'm not sure if that's cute or not..." He looks like an alien spider something or other when he does it. I don't know...

Caden has started pre-school. He seems to be enjoying it. When I ask him if he had fun all I can get out of him is "yesss, I shared cars!" So, your guess it as good as mine! We're minimizing the melt-downs which is good for me and my recent twitch.

Oh, I didn't tell you? My kids have literally given me an eye twitch! After having it for two weeks I broke down and called my doctor. She informed me that they do nothing for twitches and it's almost always caused by stress and lack of sleep. I was kind of clued into the stress aspect of it when I noticed that it would get worse when Caden was acting up.

"Caden(twitch) stop body slamming(twitch twitch) your brother!!! Twitch twitch twitch." Awww, the joys of parenting.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

If only for a little while, please stop.

I've been a mess lately. Crying randomly and uncontrollably, lashing out at my husband and kids, and falling into endless funks. The reason seems silly to me, but no matter how silly I tell myself it is, I can't escape it. I feel like lately, time has been throwing itself in my face. Laughing at me as it flies past. Continuely whispering in my ear, "look how fast I can go..." and no matter how hard I try to shut it out, it's always in front of my eyes.

Time is everywhere. It's in the changing leaves outside and the forecast on TV. It's in the box of baby clothes I gave away, and the baby I gave the clothes to. It's in my nana's face and my sons unstable walk. It's in the catalogs that came today, and the catalogs that'll come tomorrow.

Time is cruel.

We very recently put an offer on a house and to put it mildly, I'm ecstatic. I can not, CAN NOT wait to get out of this apartment. We're crammed in here like sardines and it does nothing for my mood. I'm sharing a room with Kyle and Caden is sharing a room with all of our storage. Toys are littering our living room and laundry is littering the bathroom. Our closets are overflowing and to be blunt, so are we. But here's the thing, however miserable we are now, I know I'll miss this. One day, very soon(or so it seems) I'll be cooking dinner in my big kitchen in my big roomy house. Caden will be away at school and Kyle will be locked in his room, moodily listening to music. Or maybe, he'll be gone too. I'll remember this apartment, and I'll ache for it. I'll ache for the times when Kyle is crying because Caden pushed him, and Caden is yelling at Kyle because he's crying. And I'M crying because I have nowhere to hide. I'll ache for the times we all cram into one bed for naps, and the times we squeeze ten plus people into the living room for Christmas dinner. I'll ache for the times that have long since turned into memories.

How do we slow this down? How do I get time to stop and let me have my fill of babies, and toddlers, and hot husbands? To give me so much of this that I have to say, "okay, enough. I'm ready to move on now. I'm ready for whatever is next." How can I ensure that twenty years from now when I'm cooking dinner in an empty house, I feel contentment instead of longing? Because if there's one thing I know, it's this; I sure as hell do not want to miss this apartment.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Happy Fall, Ya'll!

Today I was almost trampled by a herd of stampeding children. I wish I could say I was kidding, but I can't. Due to my stellar balance(okay, more like luck. Balance and I have never gotten along) I was able to remain upright and ride it out. It was close though. Who would have thought that the hay pyramid at the pumpkin patch could be so dangerous?

Rabid children aside, it was an awesome day. For the first time ever I felt comfortable just letting Caden run amok and trusting that he wouldn't wander off so far that we couldn't find him. And guess what? He didn't! He picked out a cute little pumpkin, played nicely, oohhhed and aaahhhed at the tractors and(IF you can believe this) came quietly when we said it was time to go. Kyle was content to sit in my arms, play in the hay and he tolerated the adorable puppy hat I made him wear. I know, I know, sounds a little "out there" but I swear it's all true! Ask my husband! He'll back me up! Because it's trruuueee! I'm flying here, folks.

After we came home I found a recipe (that turned out to be awesome) for pumpkin black bean soup. Like I said before, it was awesome. It was the perfect way to ring in autumn! I can't imagine anything better than sitting at my pumpkin adorned table(because I got a few, too) eating hot soup, and listening to the wind howl. Bliss.