Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sometimes we do things we aren't proud of. Sometimes we do things that we regret. Sometimes we do things that we're ashamed of. Ignore the person who is obviously in need of some help. Trusted somebody who wasn't worthy of it. Said something we shouldn't have. Called too many times...Hopefully we have somebody who will call us out on our b.s. or bring us back to reality. Somebody who can say, "hey, you know what? That really wasn't cool." And for some, we can even reply or apologize, "I'm sorry...I was wrong." Or even something as simple as, "You're right." And we can move on and if we're very lucky, be better for it.

But what happens when what you've done isn't wrong? What if you firmly believe you acted appropriately? What happens when you're made to feel ashamed of something that you should be proud of? What do you do? Do you stick up for yourself? Do you let it go? Do you apologize knowing that what you did was right and good?

I've very recently had the misfortune of being in this exact situation. Somebody has been trying very hard to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed about something that I did. Something that I felt I had to do in order to live with myself. For the first time in my life, I refuse to let them make me feel bad about it. I refuse to let them get into my head and make me question myself and my decisions. I fought for something I thought that I wanted and I'm not going to apologize for it. Did I get what I wanted? No...Do I regret trying? No, because I know that I did everything in my power that I could and because I won't be asking, "What if?" for the rest of my life...but they certainly will.

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