September, September!

Wow, are you aware that it's September? I've recently freed my head from the hole I stuffed it into when I realized how fast time was flying and surprise! It's September. Amazing. A few more months and it would have been a year since I've posted anything.

Things here have been okay. And by okay I mean pretty crappy. I've had to deal with things I'd hoped never to have to deal with and my quality of life has suffered considerably. I've had to remind myself to get out of bed, to smile, even to breathe sometimes. I'm lost...I look around me, recognize nothing, and panic. I look ahead, hoping to see something-anything that is familiar and try to hold it together when all I see is nothing...

One of my best friends today had me list random things that made me happy and to my surprise, I was able to list quite a few. It was then that I decided to claw myself out of this crippling depression. I've set myself a goal; to list 100 things that either make me happy or that I'm thankful for. It's just a small step, but hopefully it's a small step towards sunshine.

1. Pumpkins
2. Caden
3. Kyle
4. Pumpkin spice lattes
5. Lake Tahoe
6. Swimming
7. Chili Cheese Dogs
8. My NEW IMAC
9. Jane Eyre
10. Harry Potter
11. Love, Actually
12. Sex and the City
13. Crisp air
14. Fall
15. Sweaters
16. Mid-morning naps
17. Mail
18. Hot air balloons
19. Pastries
20. Pumpkin bread
21. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
22. Running
23. Family
24. San Francisco
25. Savannah, Georgia
26. New Hampshire
27. Fires on cold days
28. Rainy days
29. Sleepless in Seattle
30. Powells
31. Barnes N Nobles
32. Copperfield's Bookstore in Napa
33. The small used book store in Woodland.
34. The smell of my Nana's house.
35. My Nana
36. Ice cream
37. Halloween
38. Foliage in the fall
39. Winter
40. Cute winter coats
41. Pepsi
42. Chips and Salsa
43. Guacamole
44. Twilight
45. Jane Austen
46. Clam Chowder
47. An Affair To Remember
48. Jimmy Stewart
49. Carey Grant
50. Soul-mates
51. Fresh paper
52. Starbucks
52. Gray's Anatomy
53. The Hills
54. Facebook
55. the smell of babies
56. The smell of Caden and Kyle when they wake up in the morning
57. Old friends
59. Jesus
60. The feel of tropical air
61. Big fluffy blankets
62. Diamond Rings
63. Pearls
64. Star Wars
65. Olive green
66. Christmas Stalkings
67. Christmas trees
68. Christmas
69. Church
70. Puppy breath
71. Candy
72. Warm summer nights
73. The Little Prince
74. Poetry
75. The Olive Garden
76. cinnamon rolls
77. Saturday Mornings
78. Friday nights
79. Friendly people
80. Magic Carpet mini golf
81. Chicken and dumplings
82. Pixeljunk Monsters
83. margaritas
84. Shopping with Adrienne
85. Spilling my heart to Whitney
86. Pink
87. Caden's singing
88. My sisters(Holly and Jessie)
89. Portland, OR
90.books
91. A clean house
92. The Pigeon books
93. Art
94. Thanksgiving at my moms house
95. Shopping for movies
96. Falling asleep at parents house
97. My brothers
98. Pete
99. When people take random words and make something beautiful.
100. the bible