Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You said WHAT??

Lately my kids have been sounding less like kids and more like sailers and I'm not sure who to blame. I could certainly blame my parents whose language is questionable at best. I could probably even get away with blaming my brothers. It's true my kids rarely see their uncles but it's also true that my brother's language is awful. I could even blame Friends and That 70's show, except the only bad words they use are "whore" and "bitch." Both of which are not in my kids vocabulary... But folks, let's be honest here. The only person I can truly and honestly blame without feeling any guilt, is myself. Me and my dirty mouth are going to get my kids into some pretty embarrassing situations if I don't find some way to stop this...

But here's the thing. Any parent will tell you that as soon as you smile, or laugh punishment isn't an option. You can't punish a child for something you obviously find amusing, it just isn't fair. And while we're being honest, I guess I should admit that I always laugh. I'm sorry! I just can't help myself. Do I think four year olds saying things like, "Mommy, this is really pissing me off" is horrifying? Yes. Do I also think it's beyond adorable to hear such filthy language in such a sweet, small voice? Absolutely. Does this make me a bad person? Probably.

Pete on the other hand is truly horrified and appalled. Woe to anybody who laughs at such language out of an innocent's mouth in front of Pete. Trust me. WOE. However, I am not alone in teaching my children such things. In fact, I distinctly remember Caden learning the word crap, from Pete. Okay, so crap isn't as bad as say, shit...but STILL. Minor details, people.

So, here's my question. What the F bomb do we do? Because let's face it, this is about to get real embarrassing real quick. Any day now the shocked Sunday school teacher is going to stare me down for a talk and I'm going to have stutter out some excuse that will probably sound something like, "oh, gee, er, my! Are you sure it was little Caden?" Although, I may only need to mention the fact that Caden came home from Sunday school informing me that sons come from hot lovin' and presto! Blame averted. But seriously...

I think for now, I'm going to close my eyes, place my hands over my ears, and pretend I didn't hear anything.

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